dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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