out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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