I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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