the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
