Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
