so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
