Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
