I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
