Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
