I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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