Got a toothbrush?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize
