on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
