...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
