Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
