I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he told me I talked like a deaf person
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
