I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
