if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
