do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
