As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
