We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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