Already got asked if we're dating
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
