Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
