whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
