Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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