How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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