One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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