and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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