That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
