If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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