If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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