We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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