I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
