I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
