Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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