just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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