dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
