are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
