I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
that may or may not have been my penis.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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