We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
