I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
