quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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