ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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