Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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