All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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