Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
