Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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