Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
