These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
