vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
