I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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