I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
